my Victor

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Tarvasjõgi at Kõrvemaa Nature Park in Estonia. by Ireen Trummer

Good morning, beloved,

What do you do when the words won’t come? When it feels as though your thoughts are not connecting with the keyboard?

Our heat has still not been fixed. (They are waiting on parts.) Our sewer problem has been cleaned up but we have no hope of this being a permanent solution.

My boy is having a very hard time emotionally. (Ergo his siblings are too..) There, so far, has been no set diagnoses. They can guess. They give directions. Yet, his symptoms baffle. They send us somewhere else. It will be a long wait. In the meantime, how do I remain calm? How do I hold this sweet boy together? At times, we all feel we are in a blender. He is the blades and we are the liquid whipping around him. We never know what will be his undoing. Oh, how I love this boy. How I love his hugs, his conversation starters, his nightly routines…

Where do we go when the ground feels like it is fall out beneath us?

Island View Beach, B C photo by Brandon Godfrey

I will be honest. I would like to go to this beach. 😉 To sit in the sand, dig my toes until I reach cold sand, watch the kids frolic in the waves…

11 Why ·am I so sad [L are you cast down, my soul]?
Why ·am I so upset [are you groaning/in an uproar]?
I ·should [or will] ·put my hope in [wait for] God
and ·keep praising [or will again praise] him,
my ·Savior [Victor] and my God. Psalm 42 EXB

I groan, friends. I hurt. This morning just feels grainy and rocky.  My eyes struggle to look up. Why am I cast down? Why am I groaning?

I have to go back and slay the lies. I have to start this morning in the truth. Just four Psalms later (those four are very similar to 42)…we are entranced by these words:

God is our ·protection [refuge] and our strength.
He ·always helps [is an ever present/timely help] in times of ·trouble [distress].
So we will not be afraid even if the earth ·shakes [quakes],
or the mountains ·fall [reel; totter] into the heart of the sea,
even if the ·oceans [L waters] roar and foam,
or the mountains ·shake [tremble] at ·the raging sea [L its surging]. ·Selah [Interlude] Psalm 46 EXB

He is my protection. He’s got our house. He’s got my boy. He’s got my family. He is our strength. I feel so weak and yet I know, in His strength I can do all things.

He always helps us. O, Lord, come to our aid. To those who read this today who need to know that You come to our aid, Lord, I pray for their needs. I pray for those who just need to remember: You always help. You are always here and Your help is timely. When we feel the world caving in…we know that we can trust in You. Hope in You. Believe in You.

The Lord ·All-Powerful [Almighty; of Heaven’s Armies; T of hosts] is with us;
the God of Jacob is our ·defender [refuge; fortress]. ·Selah [Interlude] Psalm 46 EXB

Slavic refuge castle Raddusch (Raduš) in the evening, Germany Photo by Pudelek (Marcin Szala)

10 God says, “Be still and know that I am God.
I will be ·praised [exalted] in all the nations;
I will be ·praised [exalted] throughout the earth.”

11 The Lord ·All-Powerful [Almighty; of Heaven’s Armies; T of hosts] is with us;
the God of Jacob is our ·defender [refuge; fortress]. ·Selah [Interlude] Psalm 46 EXB

So I sit at my computer..and I hear my God saying to me, be still. Cease striving. And KNOW that I am God.

Cease. Stop, Cara, resisting what He is accomplishing here.

Ever just need a reminder that:

So I lift up my hands. I stretch out and praise. And I remember to be thankful.

I missed a couple of days so bear with me! Ann Voskamp, Joy Dare

Three graces found in friends:

145. Old friends who stay in touch, love me.

146. New friends who love my kids and invite them.

147. Watching the Lord work in powerfully in their lives..

A song heard, a soft word, a light:

148. Be still and know

149. My neurologist…

150. Our candle we light everyday to remind us of the Light.

Three old things seen anew:

151. My Grandma’s ring…beauty.

152. Psalm 46..coming alive for me.

153. Old pictures.

So 9 thankfuls, and you know, my heart is lighter. I know. I know.

Pray on. Pray on.



2 thoughts on “my Victor

    Anna Popescu said:
    January 30, 2013 at 8:37 am

    Oh, how this resonates with me, Cara! But in my life it is me asking God to help me reach the lost and hopeless, even though my health situation keeps me from doing as much as I would like to. We have the answers (mostly) to what is wrong with me but so far there has been no med or therapy that has worked for me. I do get frustrated with that at times, but generally I am able to remember that God has me in this position for His specific reasons, and who am I to question those? So, like you said, I “pray on… pray on.”

    Thank you for sharing your heart with us!



    sixbrownbears responded:
    January 30, 2013 at 9:02 am

    How I prayed this would do exactly that! To God be the glory! THank you for sharing your heart with me. 🙂


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